I've often been asked the question 'if you could have dinner with anyone in the world, living or dead, who would that be?'
Over the years my answer has changed little except for the fact that it keeps getting longer!
Eleanor of Aquitaine, Eleanor Roosevelt, Elizabeth I, Catherine the Great and a few others, all incredibly smart, strong women who persevered in a man's world. I'd like to add my 3rd great grandmother to this list, Martha D Wheeler Bryant.
She was born in 1825 in Hampden, Maine, which is just south of Bangor. Hampden had only been Hampden for about 30 years. Before that it was known as Wheelersborough, after Benjamin Wheeler, who I believe was Martha's great grandfather [still researching this]. I can't even imagine what it would be like living in Maine in 1825. I thought Maine was isolated and out of touch in the 1980's!
She married John F. Bryant, a cooper, in 1847 and they promptly moved to Castine, ME, where her first son, Horatio, was born in 1850. They must have moved to Fairfield, ME soon after that because Horatio died in January of 1853, not quite two and a half years old. Then, to top that off, she had her second son, Lewellyn in August 1853.
I lose them for a bit after that, but I know that her next child Roland Walter [or Walter Roland depending on what document you are reading] was born in 1855 and then her last child, Ada, was born in 1857.
Then comes the Civil War and off John goes on June 24, 1861. They were living in Bethel at the time. John gets killed in action in Maryland in 1862, so she was left with 3 children under 10 years of age. That's hard enough in today's world, just ask my sister! I can't even imagine the hardship doing it 150 years ago all by yourself! But she did it.
Then, along comes Jonas Flye and her strength and courage are put to the test. You see, she had been getting a widow's pension for her and the children, but somewhere along the way he and/or she decided their lives would be better off if they merged. So, on March 19, 1867 Martha and Jonas married. Only problem was that Jonas was already married!! Yup, ALREADY MARRIED!
Interesting, huh? Yeah, I thought so, too! So, more searching, searching, searching and without going through all the boring stuff, I've pieced together what happened as best I can.
She must have been furious when she found out, as she went right to a lawyer, who must have been a pretty progressive lawyer because back in the 1860's women didn't have many rights. Hubby held all the cards. She went after him with a vengence. She tracked down his first wife [real wife?] and then got the wife to swear to the courts that Jonas had abandoned her. So, fine, marriage is annulled and all is right with the world, right? WRONG!
When she married Jonas she automatically lost her widow's pension, On top of that, she had made Jonas guardian of her minor children. So she had her annulment, but now she had to get guardianship of her children back and THEN she had prove to the US government that she deserved to have her widow's pension re-instated. Yeah, right. Might as well grow wings. Most widow's pension applications are between 5 and 8 pages long. Martha's was 72!!
She never gave up. I can just picture her marching into her attorney's office and telling him in no uncertain terms that they were going to keep on until she got justice. And she did it. She got her children back [not that they physically left her, but you know what I mean] and she got her pension re-instated.
She then went on to outlive all of her children......Ada was 17 when she passed in 1874 and then Walter Roland, who is my direct descendant, passed in 1899.
All have markers in Maplewood Cemetery in Fairfield, ME. Whether they are all actually buried there is a story for another day!
Now you know why I'd want to invite this incredible woman to dinner!!
